Looking for something, what can it be...

Just before I left Seattle, my good friend Megan gave me a book edited by Phil Cousineau and entitled, Pilgrimage- Adventures of the Spirit. I read it during the first few days of my trip, and I've been meaning to write a little about it, but haven't known quite what to say.

It made me think quite a bit about why it is that I'm on this journey. The fact is that there is no easy answer to this question. Unlike some of the pilgrims in the aforementioned book, I don't have a particular destination in mind, or a good handle on what it is I might be hoping to find. I overheard some women on the ferry last night discussing their trip to Međugorje, and I thought again about the purpose of this trip, and wondered about which places, at the end of it all, will stand out as having touched me or changed me. Or will it just be the whole trip that has done that?

I'm going to post an excerpt from the forward of Cousineau's book that I particularly liked; I keep finding my thoughts wandering back to it...

These spell binding stories also remind me of the wisdom of Chaucer's invocation in the Canterbury Tales. The innkeeper at the Tabard Inn asks the departing pilgrims to tell two tales to strangers on the way to Canterbury, and two tales on the way home. Chaucer knew that the community at home needs stories as much as it needs food and water. We need tales of the stranger, to help us appreciate our common humanity. But we need news of other worlds and customs, much as William Carlos Williams described our need for poetry, because "the world dies every day for the lack of it." News that people are crossing borders not just on the map, but in the heart and soul. Strangely, I'm also inspired by the tales in this collection to recall that we may also need to be occasionally reminded about why we travel. An old Zen story captures the spirit.

The wandering monk Fa-yen was asked by Ti-ts'ang,
"Where are you going?"
"Around on pilgrimage," said Fa-yen.
Ti-ts'ang asked, "What is the purpose of pilgrimage?"
"I don't know," replied Fa-yen.
Ti-ts'ang nodded and said, "Not knowing is nearest."

I know intellectually that it's OK to "not know", but I also find that I struggle a little with this. Maybe it's that I'd like to believe there is a particular reason I am on the journey... that it's not just a happy accident that I was chosen to receive this amazing gift. Maybe there is a story I am supposed to share? Or something I am supposed to experience? I guess that remains to be seen...