Don't turn on the lights, cuz I don't want to see...

You know what I don't like about Kewsua?

All of the creepy crawlies that share our "barn", which Stacia has begun somewhat less than affectionately referring to as the "rat palace". The other night I woke up and heard the unmistakable sound of a rodent rustling through the plastic bags stored near the kitchen. I lied there petrified, a series of thoughts racing through my sleepy brain. Thoughts mostly involving my hopes that the rat was small, and alone, and would stay as far away from my room as possible. Then I started to get a little angry about that damn cat I've been sneaking food and antibiotics too... why isn't the cat chasing the rat away?? Isn't that what cats do?? I hoped the rat would just leave... I tried not to think about how much I needed to use the toilet, and wondered what the chances were that my mosquito net would keep a rat out of my bed... not great, I figured. I finally just turned my iPod on and listened to music until I willed myself to fall back to sleep. Aaack. We have taken to leaving the bathroom light on, since it seems that's where the rats are entering, and for the last two nights I haven't heard them. I have also stopped feeding the cat in the hopes that she'll work up an appetite and get back to work. You may think this is cruel, but there are probably not RATS running around your house.

In addition to the rats, there are ants, and spiders big enough to make you jump a little when you see them. Occasionally Stacia or I will walk into the kitchen or bathroom and there will just be a swarm of ants on the wall. In fact, this is so common, that most often our reaction is something along the lines of "Hmmm... I wonder what those ants are after?" I can't imagine how quickly I'd have the Orkin man on the phone if I were at home, but up here, there is just not a lot that can be done. The night before last, I noticed a particularly large spider in the bathroom. It looked a little menacing and had some weird markings on it's back that made me think it might be just a little bit poisonous. I mentioned it to Stacia, but the thing was really high up on the wall, and out of my reach. A little later, Stacia goes in to use the bathroom and notices it has moved which kind of freaks her out. I decide I can be brave and kill the spider (this might give you an idea of how BIG the thing was, normally I have some compassion and will try to "catch & release" the spiders, but we honestly did not have a glass in the house big enough to trap this beast under). I go into the bathroom with a chair and armed with a house slipper. Stacia's there to watch. I look at her and say, "Don't scream, OK? You'll make me fall off this chair." Stacia is the kind of girl you just know is going to scream about the spiders. So what happens? What always happens when you try to kill a big spider. I take a whack at it with the slipper and it runs away. Stacia starts screaming bloody murder and I scream too, mostly because Stacia's screaming has completely freaked me out. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Stacia says. She grabs a bottle of 30% DEET mosquito repellent and says, "Here! Use this! This will kill it!!" The spider is almost out of reach, but I spray it with a few bursts of the "Sketolene" and it just starts running around like crazy. Stacia screams again. "Stop it! Stop screaming!" I yell (this is totally helpful, by the way). I start trying to smash the spider with the slipper and it keeps getting away from me, and now I'm just really hoping it's not some kind of jumping spider that's going to attack me. My heart is racing, and the thing runs into a crack between the wall and a little shelf. Except I can still see most of it because it's so huge. I manage to kind of wedge the slipper behind the shelf and the spider falls, which sets Stacia off again screaming, and then I scream a little too and kind of make that crying sound from the carwash story (if you don't know this story, I'm just going to have to tell you this one live, later). Then, all the craziness is over and the poor spider has been put out of his misery (this probably took about 30 seconds, tops) and Stacia and I just look at each other and start laughing hysterically.

Later, we were talking about what all the villagers must think of us, and I said, they have to think we're crazy, but clearly they're not all that concerned about us, because they just heard us screaming as if someone may have been trying to murder us and no one even bothered to come knock on our door to see if we were alright. So there you have it. I just hope a tiger doesn't sneak in one of these nights...